Solitude
by Hountricky
Summary: 7 disappears from her and 9's home with little more than a hint as to where she'd gone, causing 9 to set out in hopes of finding her. 7x9 fluff, one-shot, first-person perspective.


Author's Note: Hey there, fellow 9 fans. I've been a rather quiet person in this fandom, aside from my occasional videos, but on a particularly boring night inspiration struck(in the form of Skillet's song "Forgiven") and I had to write this out. I've written few things before, so this is my first actual fanfic, and first one to ever be posted up anywhere. To be honest, I only had the ending planned out, and only the backbone of it, for that matter. So the rest of it was kind of spur-of-the-moment. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. R&R but be respectful when doing so, please. Also, I apologize for the POV switches, only way to get my idea out. Sorry if it gets bothersome.

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><p><em>(9's POV)<em>

My optics drowsily opened up as I was roused from my sleeping state, a chilled breeze sweeping in through the cracked open window near my bed. The sudden chill woke me up the rest of the way as my lenses focused and I was able to see again. Suddenly, I realized there was a lack of warmth by my side.

"….7?" I quietly called out, wondering if perhaps my beloved had simply woken up before me and decided to patrol the old hotel we'd chosen as our home. She was, after all, quite the lively warrior, and didn't like staying in one place for too long..

I waited a moment, expecting to hear her voice, but I didn't. Thinking nothing of it, I climbed to my feet and stretched out, yawning drowsily as I glanced out the window. It was well into the month after summer, when it started to rain. 7 had told me it was called 'October' and was always a bit of a dreary month for the humans. Well, upholding that, the view outside the window was quite dull; dark gray clouds overhung the forest outside our home, with large rain droplets falling relentlessly from the sky.

Along with the rain came the lowered temperatures. Quietly, I walked over and picked up a small scrap of fabric that served as a blanket, pulling it over my shoulders to warm myself. Blinking, I noticed that 7's skull helmet, shield, and spear had disappeared over night. Well, I reasoned, that would make sense if she had gone to patrol the hotel. Though she usually only patrolled the floor our room was on, I wouldn't have put it past her to check the other floors if she'd been particularly restless.

When I had eventually explored all of the floors, calling her name and getting increasingly concerned when there was still no response, I began to worry; had I done something wrong? Maybe I'd snored or said something in my sleep and she'd walked off to be alone, out of irritation or...hurt? I couldn't imagine... I didn't understand it, but I couldn't find any other explanation for her sudden disappearance, unless she was just playing a game on me. Maybe, any moment now, she'd appear, spooking me enough to cause me to trip, and she'd call me a dork and tease me like she always did. I smiled contentedly at this thought.

"Okay, 7, you've got me, you're too good at hiding, I can't find you.. You can come out now, you tricked me!" I gave a little chuckle to further show that I wasn't bothered by her game. She still didn't come out, and suddenly, a crack of lightning resounded overhead. I yelped, startled by this sudden noise. Then, my eyes widened. 7 was afraid of thunder. 7 was somewhere alone, perhaps stuck or maybe caught by a machine. But alone in any situation, and I was the only one who could comfort her.

Rushing back to our room, I gathered my new light staff, a knife, and several blankets, deciding now I would have to go look for her outside. In the storm, I knew it was a horrible idea, but I didn't care. I just wanted her back, safe and sound.

I checked all her usual hiding places and all the places she frequented within the hotel, just to be sure, but still to no avail. Quickly, I hurried out into the forest, knowing that, at least, the trees would give me some safety. I didn't care if it wouldn't be all that much.

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><p><em>(7's POV)<em>

I shivered as I huddled up deeper into the dusty old cave I'd found and immediately taken as shelter. My body was soaked, my fabric clinging to my metal skeleton, and I was freezing cold. I almost regretted my decision to leave, and at the moment I was seriously questioning it. It hadn't yet done me much good, and it'd been several days of on and off rain, with nearly constant thunder storms.

I hated to admit it, but I was incredibly fearful of those storms.

And, now, as rain pounded into the earth, muddying the ground and making it impossible to leave, I was reminded of why as a storm that'd started earlier raged on. Thunder crackled and I attempted to curl up tighter than I already was.

That sound… It struck fear deep into my soul, despite the wall I'd always tried to hide it with. What it reminded me of, I could normally quite simply defeat, slicing the blade of my spear through the necks of anything that stood in my way.. But I couldn't defeat this. I couldn't just cut a few wires and have my fears vanish.

No, against this particular thing, I was helpless. I hated that feeling, and it made me feel quite lost, but I couldn't help but be fearful. I was ashamed to admit it, but it was true.

I wondered, vaguely, what 9 was doing at that moment. Was he looking for me, or was he relaxing, content with the thought that I'd come back when the weather permitted? I simply hoped that he wasn't looking for me. Surely he knew I was a warrior, with years of exploring in my lifetime, and could just assume I was going to come back as soon as possible. After all, I hadn't done anything that should've worried him, had I? I thought back to several nights ago, when I'd left on this journey in the first place.

_I shifted restlessly in my sleep, as if trying to shake off some feeling, some thought that I didn't like. My optics snapped open and I glanced around the room in alarm, until I realized all was right and settled back in my place. Sighing lightly, I glanced over. 9's arms had moved off of me in the night and he'd rolled onto his back, sprawled out, like he enjoyed so much. I smiled weakly, soon distracted with my thoughts._

_We had only been together for a short time, perhaps two weeks at most, and while I loved 9 more than anything, it didn't feel right. I loved him, but… That side of me, the loner, the warrior, and the independent defender.. All of them, all those parts of me, felt wrong in this relationship. It wasn't that he was clingy or treated me as if I was a typical female, not at all. He treated me with utmost love and respect for who I was, as to be expected. Always the gentleman, he was. And, as we stitchpunks weren't stuck in the common trappings of human relationships, I had no reason to feel anything was wrong._

_And yet, I still did._

_I shifted, my hand finding his and lightly squeezing it as I pondered. Maybe.. If I just went off for a little while, it'd satisfy those parts of me, and I could come back to him?_

_It didn't seem like much of a practical solution in the long run, but I didn't care. If it'd calm that other side of me, and let me live a happy life with the one I loved, I was willing to go to unpractical measures to get there._

_Leaning over, I gently pressed my lips to his for what would be the last time in a while, whispering a soft "I love you…" before pulling away. I knew he wouldn't hear it but saying it made me feel better, somehow. I gave him a final nuzzle, then carefully crawled out of the blankets, making my way to the table beside our bed. I picked up my spear, skullmet, and shield, knowing I wasn't setting out to get injured along the way._

_Then, once I had those, I found a scrap of paper and quickly wrote an excuse for why I would be gone._

"_9-_

_I'm sorry for the short notice, but I woke up to a machine's roar and had to go check it out. _

_I'm going to track it down. If I can't find it easily, I should return within the next day. _

_If I don't, please don't worry, I won't get hurt._

_I love you._

_7."_

_Despite my guilt for taking advantage of his naivety, I placed the note near him and, once I was sure I had everything I needed, I set off. I wouldn't realize or think about the fact that wasn't the best place for the note, and I didn't turn back when it began to pour._

I shook my head, knowing there was no way any of that could have worried him. I was _sure _he'd trust me, and not worry that I'd gotten hurt. After all we'd been through? Impossible.

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><p><em>(9's POV)<em>

I watched silently as the rain continued to pour. It'd been about five days since she'd left, and since I'd set out to find her. I hadn't found a trace of her, aside from a torn bit of white fabric. In the rain, it had been difficult to tell if it had been canvas, but once I'd found shelter, I'd turned my light staff on and discovered that it had been. That discovery had dampened my mood considerably, though it had also instilled within me a stronger desire to find her.

However, I was horribly lonely. I constantly tried to fight the thought of her having been killed. I couldn't bear that thought, but each time I tried to get some sleep, I would wake up minutes later, my dreams haunted by the image of her laying somewhere, battered and broken, oil seeping from her as that beautiful soul of hers dispersed, leaving her motionless… The idea made me feel so lonely, but even so, I was still determined. I wouldn't let it discourage me, as, even if she had been killed, I vowed that I would find her body, and give her a proper burial. She, more than anyone, deserved it.

Wishing I could simply fall asleep, I used a tiny twig to etch small images of her beautiful face into the dirt on the bottom of my shelter. It was all I could do to distract myself. My light staff dimly lit the area around me, but anything farther than a foot from me was impossible to see. When I ran out of room in my immediate area, I dipped the twig in a small puddle of water that had seeped in, opting to draw her on the cave wall.

Oddly enough, it made me feel less lonely. But whether it was actually helping or I was just suffering from sleep deprivation I couldn't say. However, it still wasn't the same. Nothing could replace having that beautiful, sweet, skilled, wonderful warrior laying beside me, her head on my shoulder, her optics closing as she'd sigh contentedly and drift to sleep..

I shook my head, sighing as I turned off my light staff. I pulled a blanket over myself again and tried to get some sleep.

It wasn't that long until I heard scraping just outside the entrance of the cave. I drowsily lifted my head, and despite all better judgment, spoke up.

"7? Is that you? Did you come back? Creator, I… Come here, please, I need you.." I turned my staff on, squinting to try and see her better. Suddenly, a huge beast leapt at me, roaring angrily as it tried to slice me clean in half with a huge, sharp claw. I yelped and got out of the way, snatching my knife and staring at it with widened optics. It had momentarily stunned itself, slamming into the back of the cave, and while it was distracted I had time to look at it.

It was a huge, doglike machine, with a sledge hammer on the end of its thick tail and paws that were as big around as a wheel. Sharp objects of all sorts, from nails, pencils, and knives, to railroad spikes and more stuck out from its back, vaguely reminiscent of the cat beast. But this creature was clearly more dangerous and more thought had been put into its design. I began backing up towards the cave's entrance, knowing fighting in an enclosed space was a bad idea. It turned its blood red eyes on me, and growled.

Tensing as lightning split the sky, I hurriedly bolted from shelter and it followed, only needing to make a single step to catch up to my five. The rain slowed my pace considerably, but I didn't pay it much attention.

I turned to the creature, and in the light of another bolt of lightning, saw a large piece of white fabric speared on one of the creature's spikes. My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but start trembling. Clearly 7 had fought this beast, and it didn't appear as if she'd won. I was frozen in place, and the creature noticed this. It pulled back one huge paw and smashed it against me. I was sent flying through the air, landing with a yell in a large puddle of mud. Pain coursed through me, and I was unable to move, too weak to pull myself out.

A loud thump caused me to glance up, and before I knew it the creature was above me, sharp metal fangs opened wide in preparation to kill me. I couldn't react, and simply faced my fate with all the courage I could, feeling horrible I couldn't have given 7 the burial she had deserved. Knowing now this had all been pointless, she'd been killed, I would be killed, and life would truly be gone from the world.

I yelled out in surrender over the roar of the wind and rain, "I'm sorry, 7, I tried!"

The machine immediately rushed down to snap me in half, when its actions were cut short. It turned, glancing over into the trees as if studying some sound. I guessed it had night vision or something. I certainly couldn't see anything. Then, to my amazement, a white figure burst out of the dark and leapt at it, tearing into its metal skeleton.

I passed out from fatigue at that moment and was unable to see how it ended.

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><p><em>(9's POV)<em>

My eyes flickered open, and I lifted my head, trying to figure out where I was. A fire softly crackled nearby, a blanket spread over my body, more carefully than I would have done myself. I glanced around as my vision became more focused. I gasped, softly, as I spotted the familiar white figure of my beloved hunched over near the fire. She didn't move, and I guessed she hadn't heard me wake up yet. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. She'd disappeared, hadn't she? And now, she was here again. Suddenly, I remembered what had happened before I'd passed out. Had that been her? It had to have been..

I quietly crawled over to her, ignoring my sore body, and settled beside her. She still didn't notice me, and it was clear she was locked in a deep state of thought. I ever-so-gently wrapped my arm around her shoulder, smiling as she lifted her head, her optics rather wide.

"…9.. I-"

"Shh," I said, lovingly, and pressed my cheek to hers. I couldn't help myself as my lips gently made contact with hers, my head tilting so I could press in deeper. However, she pulled away, and I tumbled forward as she moved away. Blinking, I tilted my head. "..7, what's wrong? I.. I missed you quite a bit, I'm sorry if you don't feel like kissing right now.. I just can't help it."

"No, 9, that's not it.. I.. I'm just…thinking right now, I'm sorry."

Her expression was tense, though it didn't betray any particular emotion. Was she upset..? Had I truly done something wrong? Before I could ask, she spoke again, almost dismissively.

"Are you alright? You sure took a beating from that thing.. I'm glad I got there before it killed you."

Still, she didn't look all that excited. Maybe she was just tired… After all, even though she was always very reserved, she never kept her emotions from me for long. "Well.. Yes, I'm fine.. I thought you were dead, though, 7.. What happened? Why'd you leave without telling me? Are you okay? I found some canvas on the ground while I was looking for you and thought... Thought.."

She cut me off. "I… Well… Yes, I'm okay, don't worry.." She shifted, and I stared at her, not realizing my expression was probably rather penetrating. I wanted answers to my other questions. I _had _to know.

"…Okay, okay, don't give me that look.. You can read people way too well, 9... When I heard the machine's roar, I rushed over to attack it. I didn't know you were there at first, but I guess it's a good thing I was awake and heard it. Happy now?"

She was much too avoidant right now, and I lightly sighed, turning away. I must have done something wrong, she never kept much from me, and I could tell she was lying. "7.. If I did something wrong, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to chase you off, whatever it was, I swear, I just… I'm sure I meant good with whatever it was. Can you just tell me what I did? I feel horribly guilty for whatever it was."

"…You didn't do anything?"

"Then why are you being so avoidant? I know when you're keeping something from me, I'm not that naïve, 7..."

This seemed to catch her off guard. "..Well.. I.. O-… Okay, 9.. I'll…tell you.. Can you promise not to get upset? You didn't do anything, it's… Me."

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><p><em>(7's POV)<em>

He stared at me with a look of confusion. I sighed, knowing I'd have to explain. There was simply no way I'd get out of this without telling him the full story. "You want to know? Alright. I.. I don't feel right being with you, 9." I paused. His expression was still a little clueless, and I sighed. "That doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I think you don't love me, I know you do, and I love you more than anything.. I.. Just.."

I wasn't sure how to explain this. Truly, even my own thoughts confused me right now. I was about to continue trying to figure out my words when he spoke.

"…7... Is it...possibly related to your lack of sleep lately? And why you've been so distracted? Ever since we became soul mates, you've been having a hard time relaxing.."

I nodded, albeit a little hesitantly. "Yes, I.. I think so. It's.. It's that other side of me. I'm a loner, 9. There's no getting around it.. It's making it impossible for me to truly relax and enjoy my life with you, as much as I'd like to."

"Ah."

I was a bit alarmed by his sudden silence, but continued anyways. I wasn't the best at being tactful, I had always been a bit blunt, and I suppose that was showing right now.

"So.. When I woke up in the middle of the night, and thought about it.. Well.. Maybe it was just from being tired, more than anything, but I decided to…take a small break from.. From.. Well…"

"Me?"

I winced. "..Yes." That wasn't the response I was hoping for. He became silent again.

"I realize now my mistake. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was just...worried you'd think something was wrong, or that I didn't love you anymore."

"Oh, because just leaving without saying a single thing was any better than telling me to my face?"

I couldn't tell if his annoyance was from hurt or actual irritation, but I felt pretty guilty.

"No, I just.." I lowered my head, sighing. "I didn't want to tell you, and this is why. I.. That note was a lie, as you've probably-"

"..What note?"

"The note I put beside you when I left…"

He remained silent, watching me.

"..I'll assume it got covered up somehow, and you missed it.. Sorry." After a moment, I glanced down, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees, closing my optics. This had turned out worse than I'd expected, and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this. Then, suddenly, warm arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close. I glanced up at him, shivering lightly as I curled closer to him.

"…7... It's okay, we'll figure this out.. I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable with me. Maybe… You could go off on your own sometimes? I don't want you to feel miserable with me.. I love you too much to let that go on. "

I buried my head into his chest, lightly shaking it as I sighed. "..No.. I've learned my lesson, I want to be with you. I just.. Wish it wouldn't have ended up with you getting hurt, and.. And.. I really…really regret it, 9..."

He smiled lightly, curling me close, enveloping me in his warm embrace. I guess he sensed I was having some trouble. However, I would never feel so at home anywhere else, and at that moment, I knew that, no matter what, I wanted to be with him. He leaned down and pressed his optics to mine, and I almost swore I could see his vibrant green soul swirling around behind his shutters.

"Please don't, my love.. Just relax.. I'm okay, really. It didn't hurt me that bad.."

"But.. I.." I lowered my head. Even if he said it was okay, I was incredibly ashamed of myself, and felt very selfish for what I'd done. I'd listened to my impulses, and what had it gotten me? All it'd done was cause my soul mate worry, hurt, misery, and pain. His embrace tightened, and he began to rock me, humming a soothing tune.

"Shh…Look, 7... If you want to go off on your own for a little, then please, go right ahead.. Just promise me you'll come back, and when you do, there'll be lots of cuddles for me?" He smiled playfully, and his hands rested on my back, lightly stroking it to comfort me.

I couldn't help but gaze up at him with a smile, despite still being a bit upset and stressed. "So.. So.. You.. You forgive me, then?"

He nodded. "Of course I do, 7.. To be honest, I kind of expected something like this to happen. I mean.. Not you running away, but.. Your loner side getting in the way of us being together."

"…Thank you.." I yawned, the events of the last few days catching up to me as I nuzzled my head into his chest. He began humming again, which caused me to become much more drowsy. I wasn't done yet, though.

Leaning up, I gave a tiny smile and pressed my lips to his. Then, while he was distracted, I gently pushed him down so we could lay in front of the fire together. I cuddled up to him and pulled a small blanket over our bodies, soaking up his warmth along with the fire's. Somehow, all felt right with the world.

He gently began to sing to me, as he usually did when I would have trouble sleeping. This time, however, the words held complete love, devotion, and loyalty to me, and it was more comforting than ever.

By the end of the song, my eyes had drifted closed. Softly, I murmured, "I love you, my shining star.."

With this said, I let myself drop off into a state of rest. I slept better then than I had in weeks.


End file.
